Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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