i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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