I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
