peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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