i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
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I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
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This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂