Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.

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  (416): Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism. http://tfl.nu/ra36
  Replies (12) Good night (1484) Bad night (2851)
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  (+26): View more from

  Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY

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  (+26): Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY http://tfl.nu/9qwj
  Replies (30) Good night (7372) Bad night (2589)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.

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  (480): Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room. (1-480): Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess? (480): You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about. http://tfl.nu/fd7a
  Replies (38) Good night (7407) Bad night (727)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked

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  (360): nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked http://tfl.nu/nh0r
  Replies (67) Good night (12261) Bad night (1347)
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  (707): View more from California

  drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.

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  (707): drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs. http://tfl.nu/ujxz
  Replies (24) Good night (3743) Bad night (821)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.

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  (407): my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed. http://tfl.nu/xljx
  Replies (87) Good night (3594) Bad night (31591)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.

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  (204): this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food. http://tfl.nu/5ycb
  Replies (9) Good night (1451) Bad night (4361)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.

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  (863): Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter. http://tfl.nu/u1po
  Replies (8) Good night (1008) Bad night (1365)
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  (916): View more from California

  You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".

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  (916): You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar". http://tfl.nu/r1q0
  Replies (6) Good night (2238) Bad night (551)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.

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  (817): Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/91us
  Replies (7) Good night (797) Bad night (1873)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.

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  (516): Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night. http://tfl.nu/4blv
  Replies (6) Good night (845) Bad night (506)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy

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  (210): I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy http://tfl.nu/96zr
  Replies (4) Good night (1153) Bad night (652)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.

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  (740): Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes. http://tfl.nu/n93c
  Replies (4) Good night (2045) Bad night (456)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.

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  (908): My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER. http://tfl.nu/023o
  Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (266)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.

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  (720): You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life. http://tfl.nu/97ba
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (248)

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