It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
