I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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