Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?

  (206): View more from Washington

  neither do i

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  (206): remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot? (206): neither do i http://tfl.nu/7dbm
  Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (820)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!

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  (432): TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!! http://tfl.nu/zkcs
  Replies (47) Good night (5635) Bad night (996)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.

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  (319): How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules. http://tfl.nu/ttz2
  Replies (26) Good night (8207) Bad night (1541)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.

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  (802): Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there. http://tfl.nu/8qlt
  Replies (8) Good night (3218) Bad night (1110)
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  (914): View more from New York

  They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.

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  (914): They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk. http://tfl.nu/dygh
  Replies (2) Good night (2391) Bad night (758)
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  (516): View more from New York

  why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?

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  (516): why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka? http://tfl.nu/od3j
  Replies (12) Good night (1290) Bad night (823)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university

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  (+44): He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university http://tfl.nu/5znd
  Replies (11) Good night (2825) Bad night (635)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.

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  (330): You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka. http://tfl.nu/837a
  Replies (6) Good night (1016) Bad night (1045)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.

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  (916): I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat. (1-916): Can we laminate it? Just to be safe. http://tfl.nu/1wiq
  Replies (4) Good night (2700) Bad night (637)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"

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  (712): He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza" http://tfl.nu/tedt
  Replies (6) Good night (523) Bad night (1203)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.

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  (540): BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am. http://tfl.nu/giyu
  Replies (5) Good night (1906) Bad night (651)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink

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  (313): You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink http://tfl.nu/6677
  Replies (7) Good night (1891) Bad night (501)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy

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  (519): I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy http://tfl.nu/0rhn
  Replies (5) Good night (885) Bad night (464)
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  (626): View more from California

  It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass

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  (626): It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass http://tfl.nu/014k
  Replies (1) Good night (569) Bad night (665)
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  (347): View more from New York

  in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!

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  (347): in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg! http://tfl.nu/xub1
  Replies (1) Good night (574) Bad night (384)

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