dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no