hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa