God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
