Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.