that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job