She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
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chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
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I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night