so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
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He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
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She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?