Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out