arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.