are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.