I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
