Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
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he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
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how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth