maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
