I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I am naked and annoyed.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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