I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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