if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
