Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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