i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I intend to get homeless drunk
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
