hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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