You're completely useless in the revolution.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We got so high we made milksteak
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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