you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
not ubering you a puppy
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
