Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up