he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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