It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
