So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
