Ketchup is God's man juice
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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