Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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