we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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