Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize