you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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