We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
