but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
just found out that she named her cat after me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
