After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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