i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize