did you get engaged???
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
