Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This is my gift to your gina
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
