I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have demons in me.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
