I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
