marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
