just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
