Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
