It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
operation harelip BJ is a go
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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