I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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