and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
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