If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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