he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
