I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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