dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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