We won't sleep together?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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