After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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