wanna go halves on a baby?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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