I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Couch. On fire.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize