Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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