I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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