why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
