god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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