I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
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And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
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I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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