I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
