They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
