we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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