The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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