I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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