i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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