I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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