Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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